FRANKIE.ALISHA
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We need clean slate friend: individuals who do not limit, but support our growth!

1/11/2021

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​While the language we speak to ourselves is definitely a major barrier to our growth and transformation, so are the relationships we maintain and frequent. It's often a hard pill to swallow that we may need to limit our exposure to things and people who anchor us to parts of ourselves that we no longer want to be because they do not align with our goals. 

How do I identify these relationships? 

Some of the common characteristics of people that cannot see beyond who we used to be (or their perception of who we are) or limit us based on their own insecurities (needing to feel superior to others or biases based on our past, socio-economic status, education, their lack of growth, etc.) are easy to spot, but hard for us to believe that that person may hold those views about us. One reason why we maintain those relationships is because they keep us in our comfort zones. 

* Don't support  our efforts or only support to a limit.

* We don't feel comfortable talking about our dreams, & when we do they don't really continue to engage the conversation.

* They may not talk to us about their aspirations in life.

* They are pessimistic or bring up barriers to our success.

* They are disinterested in our growth & the growth of others.

* When we  pursue our dreams, they decrease communication.


These are just a few characteristics within an unsupportive relationship. Ultimately, most relationships are formed based on a need and when that need is no longer served, the relationship deteriorates. Sometimes it's hard to pinpoint why a relationships has formed because it could be easily disguised if it occurred at work, at an outing, on social media, etc. 

For example, you may form a new friendship at work and assume it formed based on mutual interests and common ground, when in fact it formed because you admired their style and presence and wanted to possess those characteristics. Meanwhile, the other person may have needed someone who they could mentor or feel as though they were superior. You can see where this relationship might deteriorate faster on one end, once the person looking for a mentor begins to grow and come into their own. While they may still consider the new friend a mentor, the 'mentor's' needs are no longer served as the mentee grows. The 'mentor' friend may begin to disconnect as he/she feels the mentee has outgrown them. The 'mentee' may feel unsupported because he/she is not receiving the vibe that the mentor friend supports their growth. 

This is just one example of relationships that are not necessarily formed for a lifetime, but for our current circumstance or location. It doesn't mean that either person is bad but the relationship, as is, is not beneficial to expansion. While addressing it may appear to be the solution to the problem, it requires deeper work because it is an internal issue. 

What can we do if we find ourselves connected with someone who is unable to support your expansion?

Sometimes it's as simple as decreasing contact with that person or finding others that are in the position to share our growth energy. Other times we have to find a way to cope with feelings that lack of support bring in relationships that are a little more complex, like family. Because as friends, it is not my job to 'fix' anyone, I can choose to walk away and find relationships where our energies align (allowing for a clean slate or fresh canvas) or I can have a conversation with that person and express the feeling of lack of support. It would then be the responsibility of the other party to assess their actions and find its deeper meaning. 


Feel free to share your experiences with unsupportive relationships in your life, the feelings it brought up, and how you addressed it or are still deep within it. 


Stay Well,

Frankie Alisha

Instagram: Frankie.Alisha83
​FB & Twitter: Frankie Alisha 

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Do you have 15 years of experience or have you experienced the same year 15 times?

1/10/2021

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We've all done it, prepared the resume either physically (new job) or mentally (just before giving advice to a friend). We felt confident that we would give sound advice or perspective. However, when personal or business paths become stagnant or turbulent, are we open to new ideas or do we just recycle the same strategies and/or take the same approach to obtaining solutions? If the latter is true for you, then you may need to deduct the amount of years' experience you've placed on your resume, mentally and physically.  
Sometimes we not only need new solutions, but innovative or progressive ways of obtaining that solution. 
Being open to alternative ways of doing and believing requires actively turning off some of our automatic thoughts about how we've always done things and often that mentality that 'experience knows best'. It may even mean going back to dismantle childhood belief systems that we've picked up through experience or from our family traditions. The world has surpassed the point of 'accepting' creativity and nuance, it is expecting and embracing it as a means of catapulting us into a new future.

As parents, community members, and leaders how do we embrace change and innovative ways of being and doing?  2021 is the perfect time to quit the old practice of intellectual laziness and start evaluating, thinking, and forming our own beliefs and ways of being. 


Stay Well,
Frankie Alisha

Instagram: Frankie.Alisha83
FB & Twitter: Frankie Alisha

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we need hyperopic friends & Associates : They see past our current situations

1/9/2021

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We've all been there, that moment when we can only see the water rising from your feet to our knees and ultimately knowing that it will rise above our head. Or those frustrating moments when life seems to fight us at every turn. Many circumstances in life can bring about feelings and emotions that leave us 'stuck'. For example, the loss of finances, a loved one, or health concerns  can render us hopeless, stressed, and unable to see when or how things will improve. 

This brings me to the topic of surrounding ourselves with individuals who are hyperopic (better known as 'far-sighted'). What's up close can be blurry or unclear, but what is beyond is crystal clear. Far-sighted individuals don't even attempt to see things close up, but always extend it out to get a clearer view. 

So what's all this got to do with me currently drowning in my fears and circumstances, you ask? When in a  slightly irrational mental state, we often cannot even talk our way through situations we  view through the lens of doom. It's in that moment that it's helpful to have individuals who only see the current situation as a spec, but can see further down the road to you overcoming the circumstance and sometimes coming out in a better position than we currently stand. 
Evaluate the relationships or connections in your life and determine if you have individuals that can can help you see past the bumps in the road, however big or small they may be. These individuals have often hit similar bumps or have reached the destination you are trying to get to. That destination can be physical or mental. 

Stay Well,
Frankie Alisha

​Instagram: Frankie.Alisha83
FB & Twitter: Frankie Alisha


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Because it's sunday and life happens: starting a new week affirmations

10/11/2020

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It's time to have some ridiculous Audacity!

9/26/2020

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Sometimes, a story is a great way to understand a concept. Some things have to be put into context."

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look no further....I am the purpose.

9/25/2020

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They want to be invited but they don't want to come.

9/18/2020

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Just imagine if our kids were out of school even longer. Would you believe me if I told you we have dealt with these effects before?

9/5/2020

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Rebuilding after devastation: hurricane laura relief effort for my family

9/2/2020

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From Covid-19 to Hurricane laura: stressed, but resilient.

8/27/2020

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reasons why parents may choose virtual school option and talking points for students returning.

8/12/2020

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The Big De-Clutter: Making space for the things and people that add value to your life

7/14/2020

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The Spaces In between: feeling adequate

7/12/2020

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"Your happiness does not hang in the balance; it lives in the space where you can accept yourself right where you are."             
                                     -Frankie-


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It's your life: Yes, You can have your cake (or pancakes...) and eat it too!

7/9/2020

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ENERGY: THE MOST VALUABLE CURRENCY

7/6/2020

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Energy, it is the most readily-available, valuable and overused currency. We all have it! If we are not careful, concepts, things, and ideas will take more than we are willing to give of it in a blink of an eye.  Everything needs energy to live, even thoughts and feelings. When we take away the energy those thoughts fizzle out and can die. Hence, the reason many snatch it before you can even offer it up. The downfall to that is that we no longer have the mental capacity to focus energy on things we really want in life and allow room for it to manifest in our world because it's so crowded with everything else. We often see this when employers encourage employees to dedicate excessive time and energy to helping the establishment prosper or employees, athletes, etc, feel the invisible pressure to meet high standards. 
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A Little slice of heaven: oreo cream pie!

7/2/2020

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Who doesn't love ice cream and cookies! Me and the girls decided to try our hand at a new summer treat, and I think we #NailedIt!
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Covid-19: Who DO you #MaskUP FOr?

6/28/2020

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Click to this picture to purchase the 3-pack Adidas face mask. $16

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Happy Mother's Day

5/10/2020

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Oh, The Places You will Go...

4/24/2020

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"The best communicators in the world are that because they are fluent in human." 
-Paul Scanlon-

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the courage TO Evolve

3/26/2020

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"There are more years behind me than ahead of me..." 


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    Author

    My name is Frankie Reed-Shaw. I am a wife and mother of three. I love all things creative, especially writing thought-provoking pieces. I embarked on my journey of blogging about growth, maturity, and SPIRITUAL concepts about two years ago. My passion is expressing challenging ideas in hopes that myself, and others,  engage in consistently thinking outside the box and strive to live a most authentic life, free of constraints. Don't be shy, feel free to comment your life experiences and wisdom on any post. 

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  • Home
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