"It is the "not knowing" in the period of waiting that is most difficult, but often brings the biggest growth in faith, trust, and maturity. Don't exchange the wait because we will also miss out on the growth. "
I've had plenty of periods of waiting and in the midst of that, "not knowing". I've learned to smile and find joy in moments of hope knowing that God can move mountains and cause walls to fall. In the meantime, there is crucial growth in my spirituality and most importantly my actions and thought-life. When you have a child that doesn't have optimal health, you learn to operate or function in a place of "not knowing". It's the loneliest and most heartbreaking place to dwell. You kinda have no choice. You can't predict how the future will be and you worry from day to day.
I have been dwelling in this place for about three years and I'll never quite get used to it, but I've learned some valuable lessons along the way. People always comment on my smiling, but don't quite understand that I've shed so many tears that smiling is actually my refuge. You see, not being able to control my daughter's suffering has taught me to be intentional with my life and not to waste my anger and frustration on meaningless things. I've learned to be kind and brighten others' days because like me, they could be shedding tears when the night falls. I also learned very early on that I could not cry in my daughter's presence because her hope came from me. Our actions and words toward others, especially children, help to either add to or diminish their faith in themselves and the world around them. Lastly, I've learned to be "ok" with things not being society's ideal of perfect. It is in that seeking perfection that we enter into trouble zones in our thought-life and our actions.
There is always meaning in the wait if we dare to look for it. Try asking yourself the questions to help you discover areas that could grow during this period:
1. What can I accomplish during this waiting period?
2. Is there anything God is trying to teach me?
3. Are there any positives in my situation?
I am a 34 year old wife and mother of three children. I love all things creative and writing thought provoking posts. I began documenting #MyEarlyMorningThoughts about a year ago and have since received many requests to begin blogging and to continue posting about everyday growth, maturity, and christian concepts.